Ask The Pastor
May 2007


I have tried to talk to a couple of my friends about my faith and my beliefs, but my friends who are either Catholic or of other denominations get really defensive if I say anything that is different from their beliefs. So my question is, how do you talk to a friend or family member who is in a denomination about their religion vs. your relationship with God, without sounding like you are self-righteous or a know-it-all?

When you talk to someone whose faith is different than yours, you are planting seeds, and you must do it slowly. You plant by the words that you speak, but even more so by the life that you live. You plant seeds, and then God waters the seeds, and seasons may pass before they are open to God and His Word.

Here’s an example. Suppose someone you have witnessed to gets sick, and when you hear about it you call to see if it’s okay to come and pray for them. If they allow you to come, take your Bible and open it to James 5:14-15, and read it to them. Tell them you’re just going to be obedient to God’s Word. This may cause them to wonder what else they are missing in the Bible.

You have to remember that it is Satan and traditions of men that blind people so that they cannot see the truth. II Corinthians 4:4 says, “In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.” Once the blindness is gone, they will see, and they will believe.

I would like to know if it is a sin to drink beer if you are a Christian. Also I need help in understanding how God speaks to you. I am a fallen Christian and want to get my life back with the Lord. I work on Sunday so it's hard for me to get in a church. When I ask God for forgiveness it feels like I am the same person. I want to feel God's presence in my life. I forget to read my Bible and when I do I don't understand what it says. Please help me with my situation.

I’m going to answer your questions in the order that you wrote them. First, it is a sin to drink beer as a Christian. Ephesians 5:18 says, “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.” Even if you think you can drink without getting drunk, why would you want to take the chance? Why would you want to dabble in something that is not necessary for life, and take the chance that you would slip up some time? It’s not worth it. Sin never is.

Next, to hear God speak to you, you must read the Bible first and foremost. God does speak in many other ways, but what He says will always line up with the written Word of God. If I was in your shoes, I would start with the Word and allow God to speak to me there because the Bible can be trusted every time.

As to not being able to attend church on Sundays, why not join us here at Only Believe Ministries on Wednesday evenings at 7:00 pm? We’d love to have you worship with us. We have a full service, including classes for your kids and teens (if you have any) and a young adult group for 18 – 28 called the Link. The main service is just like on Sunday, only a little bit shorter so that everyone can get home to prepare for the next day.

Now, when you ask God to forgive you and you say you don’t feel any different, don’t worry about it. We receive forgiveness just like everything else in the Bible – by faith. You will feel God’s presence as you grow in grace, in knowledge, and in experience. Give it time.

As to your question about understanding the Bible, remember that something new has to be learned. It’s not going to just come in a moment, but if you will be diligent, over time you will begin to understand. Begin in the Gospel of John, and keep going! I also recommend that you pray based on Ephesians 1:17-21 everyday. Here’s the passage:

“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: [18] The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, [19] And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power, [20] Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, [21] Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come.”

 

I suffer from an addiction to self-gratification. I don't know if it is wrong. I am married, and my fantasies are about my spouse.  What does the Word say about this?  Is it wrong? How do I stop if it is?

While it may seem somehow less sinful to fantasize about your spouse during these episodes, it is nonetheless still destructive. God is pretty plain about unnatural affections, lust and dishonoring one’s body. (Read Romans 1:24-32.)

Your spouse is to be the natural recipient of your sexual desire. Spouses are not to withhold natural affections from one another. When a marriage is in unity, there should never be a time when one spouse is not available to the other for natural affections. The only exceptions are when we separate ourselves for fasting and purification, or for the natural cycles of the wife. (Read Ephesians 5:22-33 & I Corinthians 7:1-5.)

Your answer is in your question. If you believe you “suffer from an addiction to self-gratification”, how can you possibly believe God intends for you to suffer? It is more likely that you suffer from the guilt of hiding that which you believe in your heart to be wrong. God gave us all a conscience. Much like the Holy Spirit identifies unholy behavior, our consciences also identify for us the things that we are doing which are morally unacceptable.

It is not God’s plan for you to suffer, and He certainly does not want you addicted to any form of self-gratification. We are to abstain from all unrighteousness. Whenever you have the urge to “gratify yourself”, pray instead, and wait until your spouse is available. Because of the way God designed our bodies, when you share these experiences with your spouse, they will be much more fulfilling, and ultimately more pleasing to God.

 

I have been invited to religious ceremonies (baby baptism, confirmation, first communion, etc.) by family members.  I do not support these practices, therefore, I do not attend these events. I have now been deemed as “the bad guy” in the family for not going to support the children participating in these rituals.  I have explained my position and have backed it up with Scripture, but it all seems to fall on the deaf ears of religious family members.  It seems so much easier to witness to individuals who do not have “religious” backgrounds.  Do you have any advice for witnessing to friends/family members of different religions who seem to view the rituals set by a religion as more valuable than Scripture?

Though your friends and family may be steeped in religious rituals, degrading them for their lack of scriptural knowledge will hinder your witness. So instead of combating them for what they are doing wrong, why not witness to them when you join them in the ceremonies, so that you will always have an open door in their lives?

Remember, Jesus went to a Pharisee’s house, even though He did not agree with everything the man said or did. While He was there, He did not condemn the Pharisee for his wrong thinking, but He did exhort the woman for anointing Him with oil, kissing His feet and wiping them with her hair.

If you begin with a negative, you cannot have a positive impact, but if you will be there for your family and friends, you can allow God to open a door for future communication.